Life changing decision : Becoming a full time mother

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I decided to quit my job and be a full time mother. There were too many abuse stories out there, we don’t feel comfortable to leave our baby in someone else’s care. Thankfully, my husband makes enough to comfortably sustain our home. Although, there’s no more luxury travels or expensive splurges. We needed to adjust on the way we spend our money and be more economical.

I recently started watching a Korean drama on Netflix titled ” Romance is a bonus book”. The female lead got divorced and decided to start her life afresh after 11 years. Despite her best efforts, she faced a lot of backlash and discrimination during interview.

They told her how she’s outdated, how people are out there working hard to catch up with the trend whilst she’s sitting at home all day. She only managed to land a job as a contract low pay junior role in a publishing company, even though she was a successful copywriter in the past.

And, I can’t help but to feel worried.

I can’t help to think, will this be me in many years to come? Will I face the same discrimination despite being successful in the past? I was working as one of the management teams leading a big team in a multi million company and made a decent amount of money. And yes, I do intend to return to the workforce. I believe I can, it may take some time. But eventually if you look hard enough, it will work out.

But first… let me tell you about life as a full time mother / housewife.

First of all, housewives don’t just sit around all day at home doing nothing. You are wrong. We spent our days :

  • Taking care of the baby. This includes feeding, changing, putting them to sleep, playing with the baby, taking them out to the park and teaching the baby new things.
  • Breastfeeding on demand and this includes overnight session
  • Making sure the baby is physically active and emotionally happy all day long. ( This probably takes 99% of our time)
  • Preparing all meals. This includes grocery shopping, washing, and cooking the food. Plus, washing the dishes and kitchen after that.
  • Cleaning the house. This includes all the basic dusting and mopping.
  • Laundry. Don’t underestimate the number of the washing you need to do. Especially when your little one is using cloth diapers. Basically both you and the washing machine don’t get any rest day off. Thank god for the inventor of the washing machine. Hallelujah.

We do this without fail 365 days a year, 24/7. There is no day off or annual leave. We barely have any time for ourselves. It takes months to settle into a comfortable routine where you can work around your baby and manage your own time to complete the to-do list. It wears you out. But trust me, it’s worth it. My mother used to tell me, take care of your baby well, the first three years of his life will determine his trait and personality. I couldn’t agree more. You don’t want to do it wrong.

But I don’t regret becoming a full time mother. Ever.

I am thankful that I am able to provide my baby with comfort and reassurance whenever he needs me. 24/7, 365 days a year. Not everyone has the opportunity to be a mother, motherhood is an incredible journey. The joy you feel when he first sits up, when he first talks, when he takes his first step and the first time he calls me “Mama”. (Although you probably won’t feel as joyful when your baby is calling mama for the 100th time today). I am thankful that I am there to witness it.

To be able to share these special moments and bond with my baby, I would not trade it for anything else in the world.

Sure, there are times when I feel a little sad as I look at LinkedIn and see my ex-colleagues who became a Director now. Many people congratulated her on her job update including myself. But when I updated my job status to a proud full time mother, not a single person congratulated me. Why is that? I thought, a full time mother is such a tough job, and yet it doesn’t receive the recognition it deserved. So this is for all you full time mothers out there, well done!!!

We have made a tough decision to leave our career and focus on taking care of our child instead, and that’s the right decision. You will be the world to your child. You will be able to show your baby the world, teach him about life principles and shape him into the person you hoped for him to be. Your baby will be passionately attached to you especially during the first few years. Know that, we are blessed to experience this kind of attachment. Enjoy every moment, because that wouldn’t last. Time is passing by so quickly. Before you know it, it will be your child’s turn to take care of you.

I hope you enjoyed this article and will get to experience motherhood soon. Good luck!

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Parenting pain : The stereotype when people kept telling me, what a good life as a housewife. You just stay at home all day long. Seriously! Do they even know what it’s like to be a full time mother?

Featured image photo credit by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash (2015)

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